Last day in BIH!

Hey everyone:D
While i’m writing this... i’m kind of not back yet... i’m actually at my stepdads place... it’s my last evening here in Bosnia... My two stepbrothers and my sisters are watching a soccer game between Burghausen and FC Bayern München... i know it’s weird i’m not watching the game, while my favourite team is playing, but i’m kind of a bit sad about leaving. Even though i don’t wanna admit that. I’ve really had a lot of fun. It’s really weird, a person that lives so far away from “home” (even though i’m a stranger here too) like I do, usually thinks little of what life would have been, if destiny would have been a little bit different, but when you get “home” one little part of you wishes for the life that you lost and never can get back. Of course it would have been so different from the life that I live now. And I might not have met all the great people that I have met, which would have been a pity. But on the other side, I would have had a dad by my side and not a stepdad, and all my family and relatives would have been so close by. Life would have been great this way too... but then again... I might never have gotten to know the life that I already have and love.

I know... I’m not making any sense right now.... I’m just rambling on about weird things... but it makes you think. That was kind of my point. I’ve spend at least a whole week thinking about the life that I lost, and never can get back. I’ve been to the graveyard in my hometown at least 3 times crying my eyes out about all the relative that are lying there. Some of them went away far too young and didn’t get a chance to live at all, so I should not be complaining. But seing all those graves made me also miss them all and miss the life that we all might have had together. During my time in Bosnia I’ve also been to a huge “war-heros” funeral. After this last masssgrave was found, after the war in the 90’s, there always is a big funeral and this time I atended it. And it was heartbreaking to see my 17 year old cousin burring her dad. She was only two when she lost her dad... this also made me think if this day ever would come for me... if my dad ever will be found and get the proper funeral that he deserves!! But it was a “great” funeral, if such a word can be used in such a sentence, but what i mean is that they got proper goodbyes and now they can rest in peace. While we try our best to live on as good as we can, and be good people, so our loved once can watch down at us and be proud.

well this is it from me for this time.... this post we'll probably be posted when I'm back in Norway, since I can't get a internet connection here...:P

xoxoxox